Lost In Space

I'm slowing down, forgetting
Why I've come down this path
I've forgotten where I'm going
What is it that I need
I'm distracted by all these colors
That my eyes seem forced to see
I'm confused by my dreaming
Of what I think I want
I'm so torn by my fantasy
How can I not play along
But I manage to stop completely
I attempt to clear my mind
I start to wonder what happened
I've been possessed from inside
Now where should I go
How can I get back my lost time
I'm struck with my guilt
Reality does not rewind
---
written 2011

Once Upon A Time

I wonder what time can do

To my memories of you

Can it pull you out from my heart

Make me really forget?

I wouldn't even miss you

If I'd forget who you are

I wouldn't even know you

My heart from yours, so far

I wouldn't think to thank you

As I use your advice you gave

I wouldn't even know it's yours

If time can take memories away

So I write as I do wonder

As I fear it may indeed

I'll write what I remember

So time cannot succeed

---

written 2011

A Fragile Gift

With bows and ribbon

I'll make for you

A special gift of love

Filled with hugs and kisses

And warmth

I'll wait for you to open it

To smile, to feel some joy

To remember that I haven't forgotten

I'll wait for you to wrap some up

And send your love to me

I'll treasure it

Filling up my heart

I'll wait for it to comfort me

To help me smile, feel some joy

And to remember 

You haven't forgotten either

---

written 2011

A Dream In My Heart

I want to write

But I am scared

To let you know

What I have feared

I want to share

My secrets and fears

But I never built trust

To treasure my tears

I want to hug you

Hold you tight

But I don’t know how

To do it right

I want to thank you

For all you’ve done

But I assume it’s silly

You might make fun

I want to sing

Without being heard

As much as that seems

Completely absurd

I want to dance

But I’ve got two left feet

Please don’t compare me

Or I will retreat

I want to play

Spend time with you

But maybe you’re busy

With better things to do

I want to say

I love you

But it hurts to reveal

What I know is true

I always dream

Of how I will be

When nothing will scare me

When I will be free

I believe some day I will

Soar through the sky

I shan’t be scared

As you watch me fly high

---

written 2003

Shine Your Light

Days have past

Weeks gone by

Yet memories stay strong

I remember

Cannot forget

The pain lasts so long

To watch him go

To disappear

Sends arrows through my heart

To lose control

To lose belief

Tears my soul apart

To see his picture

To hear his name

Stirs a tiny spark of hope

To give that smile

Rebuild belief

Helps me now to cope

To share a joke

A loving word

Is sharing who he was-

Spreading joy

Sincerely love

Only just because

A loyal friend

A devoted mate

The best Zeide to me

His eyes would sparkle

His smile so real

That’s how I want to be

I remember his words

Just be your best

In everything you do

So I’ll continue

Spreading light

Zeide, I’ll be just like you

---

written 2004

Secret Admirer

I'm standing now

At a distance

You're in the corner of my eye

I watch you walk by

And I wonder

What is it that you think of

When you find me watching you

What is it that you feel then

When you turn to see me gaze

I'm standing now

Behind you

Just waiting for your smile

Just waiting for you to notice me

To approach me and say hi

And as I wait, I wonder

What is it that you thought of

When you wished to be noticed

To wait shyly at the side

And as I wonder

I suddenly notice you

In the corner of my eye

So I look up in surprise

I find you gazing at me mischievously 

A smile playing on your lips

---

written 2005

My Magic Wand

I'd wave it in the air

Wistfully envisioning a wonderful place

And poof-

Glistening sparkles blind my eyes

No need to stress, to work so hard

My magical wand convinces me

Now lost in empty bliss

Suffocating in a world of golden dust

Oh Magic Wand!

Refusing to let go

I wave it frantically

And poof-

Sandy speckles replace golden dust

I squint, loosen my grip

My wand lays limp in hand

Oh Magic Wand!

---

written 2011

A Beautiful Mosaic

Chipped and broken

Shards of pain

Pieced together

Edges smoothed over

With tears of acceptance

A magical gift

Tiny tiles of life

So patiently adjusted

Creating a beautiful mosaic

I'm proud to display

---

written 2011

Coming Home

Comfy and content

In a home of my own

Giggles and laughter

Tickle my heart

There's nowhere I'd rather be

I've found my place

My family

Sweetness of life

Seeps through my heart

For all of this

G-d made just for me

---

written 2011

Little Pieces of My Heart

Running farther away

Climbing higher still

I get dizzy from distractions

I keep turning back

I've left something behind

Little pieces of my heart

But I must keep running, climbing

To stop is falling down

As I struggle to reach up

And steady each new step

I glance back to see

My heart's pieced together- keeping pace

Nothing's really lost

Just out of reach enough

For me to share my heart once more

As I keep running

Forever climbing higher

---

written 2011

Not Today

Not today

Count me out

I did enough

And I'm fed up

It's one of those days

Sleepy and slow

But busy like nuts

So not today

Count me out

It's just so typical

Another Monday

---

written 2011

Cheer Leader

If I'd be totally honest

What would you let me say

If I'd only listen and not question

You wouldn't see it another way

If I'd let you down once more

Who would you turn to next

If I'd give you my heart

Yours still wont let it rest

As much as I want to help you
There's only so much I can do

You must face life's challenges

But I can cheer for you

---

written 2011

Hide & Seek

I'll come find you

If you'll follow me

I'll sit with you

If you won't leave me

I'll share with you

If you'll pull it out of me

I so badly need you

Please don't give up on me

---

written 2011

The Pretending Game

I'm tired

Of playing this silly game

Where we pass each other by

We smile, we chat

We nod and wink

Pretending that we care

While we'd both really rather 

Run along

Pretending we didn't see

I wish I wasn't such a fake

But even more

I wish we were both 

Happy for one another

Even if we'll never really 

Get to know each other

---

written 2011

Beautiful Painful Pain

The pain of feeling

You can't ignore

The pain of trying

More and more

The pain of listening

To understand

The pain of honesty

A high demand

The pain of challenging

Who I am

The pain of knowing

It's in my hands

The pain of growing

From my mistakes

The pain in living

It's gives and takes

The pain of deciding

To overcome

The pain of learning

It's never done

The pain is painful

I want it to go

Yet the pain is beautiful

If I let it be so

---

written 2011

Sometimes We Are The Same

Sometimes I just feel

I really need to cry

Sometimes there are no reasons

I really don’t know why

Sometimes I just need

To sit alone in solitude

Sometimes I just can’t socialize

It’s just that type of mood

Sometimes I just think

Perhaps I am depressed

Sometimes it just worries me

That my life is such a mess

Sometimes I just say

Things I never planned to share

Sometimes during those moments

I thought you might care

Sometimes things just hurt

It’s an ache deep inside

Sometimes I just can’t explain

Why I feel the need to hide

Sometimes I just wish

For a comforting embrace

Sometimes that is all it takes

For my worries to erase

Sometimes I just wonder

If others know my shame

So I peek into your soul

To find that we are much the same 

---

written 2004