Love You Always

Empty and raw

I feel incomplete.
My heart pounds wildly
With every beat.

Shaking my head,
Denying my tears,
I remind myself-
It's just my fears!

Afraid to lose
What I treasure most;
My family, my love,
I hold so close.

I can taste the pain,
It's not new to me.
No, nothing can stop
It coming.

So I sing my song
To let you know
I love you today,
I love you tomorrow.
---
written 2015

Dead Silence

I'm tired of trying
To communicate.
It feels like there are brick walls
In your place.

Trying to break through
So you can hear
How desperate I am
For you to care.

There's no echo, there's no sound
There's only emptiness all around.
You don't look, you can't see
How so untouchable you are to me.

I scream in hope of getting through
I try until my face turns blue
But nothing makes you turn around,
You just can't seem to understand.

I'm tired of trying to find a way
To help you see I've got something to say,
Maybe I'll leave it for another day,
Today we'll go our separate ways

In dead silence.
---
Written 2017

Can I Let You Go?

I feel so sad when I see you;
For some reason my heart is pulled towards you,
But I look at you
And feel pushed away.

We joke, we laugh
But inside I cry,
I force down the lump in my throat,
I convince myself to move on.

You've created a facade.
A hard, cold, unbreakable facade.
I can't reach you, yet I keep trying,
And it hurts me every time.

So I wonder, is it time I say Goodbye?
---
written 2017

In Your Corner

I want to hold you
Protect you from harm
I want to shield you from pain.
I want you to know you're never alone
Whatever you feel, I feel the same.

I can't chase your demons
I can't fight your wars
But I can stand by you as you do
I won't sit down until you can rest
Because you're not alone. I love you.

---

written 2016

Blame Game

It's easy to blame you for everything
It makes me feel righteous and justified.
When I stop for a moment I can admit
I have you to blame because you're here.

You're always around because you're right by my side
You're always doing it wrong because you're doing what you can
You keep giving and I keep taking
And still you haven't given up on me.

I blame you because I'm hurting inside
And push you away because I can't have you close
I can't handle the pain of feeling alone
So I numb it with anger and shame.

I want to apologize. To make it right
I need you to know I'm defeated
I need you to see I'm trying to change
Because you don't deserve how I treat you.

There's so much good I want to share
So much to feel yet I'm scared
So much to love and so much to accept
So thank you for believing in me.

---

written 2016