Can I?

I don't want to go
Because I don't want to know
How little I've moved forward.

It's hard to  take each step
When I'm constantly out of breath
All I want is to rest, again.

The journey is so long 
So many chances to get it wrong
It's hard to see the end from where I am.

I don't  want to be a quitter
I fight my urge to be so bitter
I remind myself how powerful I can be.

It's not so daunting, just today
I can choose to do okay
Empower my tired self, again.

I look around and count the good
From wherever I could
And fill myself with peace and joy.

It's not as hard when I'm not alone
I seek out my friends, my family, my home
We celebrate my victories together.

I still do feel small
But I know that's not all
I have a lot to be proud of too.

"Don't give up!", I repeat
I can always reward myself with a treat
By caring for my needs, I'll pull through.
---
written 2014

Crossroads

Because I love you, I turn away
So you cannot see my face.
I cannot let you know my thoughts
While you're stuck in your place.

You can't understand now
And I don't want you to try
Because the pain of not succeeding
Makes me break down and cry.

My words seem so harsh to you
I wish they didn't make you squirm
But I tell you them because I care
I'm sorry I seem such a burden.

This journey that you travel
Makes us stronger at it's end
Soon, soon, it'll be okay
It's just around the bend.
---
written 2014

Bedtime is for Children?

What annoys me more than bedtime taking an hour
Is when it takes the hour after to bounce the kid back to bed,
To finally succeed in making her succumb to sleep-
Her ultimate failure, no doubt.
Her boo-boos and band-aids,
Her thirst and spilled water,
Too cold and too hot and too dark and...
By the time we're through
I've fallen asleep first, on the couch.
I don't know if this rambling makes much sense
Because I'm peering at the screen, backspacing every other letter
-Trying to remember what it is that I thought to write about anyway.
Oh dear, the door is slowly opening and little feet are peeking. 
I better go
And pretend to be asleep!
---
written 2014

Joyful Cleansing

When I clean, I feel it's a never ending chore.
The more I sort and find, I uncover more and more.
Now you might think I live in a pig sty
But I would like to defend myself and deny-
This is my home, filled with good things;
Learning how to do what's right,
How to become better beings.
Learning how to say kind words,
How to elevate our days,
Learning how to smile,
Amidst the piles in the way.
Now this is no excuse, I know!
I better get to cleaning,
I'll see you next week
When I pop up to keep breathing!
I hope I didn't chase you all away,
My 4 year old even swept today.
This home is full of love and care
And that's what I feel when I look around,
Of course, I keep looking,
Because I need a place to sit down!
I folded all the laundry and made sure all the drawers still close
Just don't go snooping inside of them
-You don't want to get too close.
Hey, hey, I kid, you don't need to leave
The funky smell isn't from here
That's from the drug house next door
You don't need to disappear. 
I love to share my home with guests
I enjoy sharing what I own
My home is to bring others warmth
To make them smile when they go back home.
Goodbye now, I'm not done,
Cleaning is an endless task
But I will admit it's precious
Because it's not just that-
It's creating a place of beauty
Out of what we're given.
And that is what life is for
-Treasure every blessing.
---
written 2014