A New Day, A New Life

The heaviness is suffocating
I fear I may never get up
I can't even see beyond my window
Where the sun shines down
For my neighbor.

The confusion in not knowing
When or if my turn will ever come
Depresses me so much
I've drained my well
Of tears.

But with the beating of my heart
Comes fresh new tears of hope
Only G-d knows from where
For certainly I do not
Own much.

G-d whispers in my ear
Squeezes my hand with tenderness
I haven't felt in years
I cry like the child
I feel I am.

Each day the sun comes up
He blows new breath in me
And I blow out a big sigh
To acknowledge Him
In return.

"OK," I whisper back
"I'll place my wobbly feet on the ground
And hold on tight
For strength
You see in me."

Never have I looked
Beyond the pain in my cloudy sky
Never have I believed
You were there
To find.

But today I've found my voice
To ask for help; belief
And I know that is all I need
To step forward
And move on.
---
written 2013

A Little Perspective

My head's finally clearing up

I can think straight and see

That life's just running full speed ahead

Not waiting up for me.

Lying in my hospital bed

Putting life on pause

I'm realizing how ordinarily human I am

I'm no larger than life Oz.

As much I want to be helpful

And accomplish more than my share

There's simply no way to succeed

Without ending up back here.

Finally I can say "Thank You G-d

For getting me out of my mistake

For showing me You, not me, is in charge.

-For this long needed, overdue break!"

---

written 2013

I Wish I Had Time

I wish I had time for everything

To sleep, to write, to get out.

I wish I had time for everyone

To talk, to laugh, to share.

I wish I had time I could capture

With moments I treasure most.

I wish I had time that allows me

To forget those embarrassing scenes.

I wish I had time to slow down

And focus on my life, right now.

I wish I could be time's master

Although I know how messy that would be.

Oh, I just wish for a few more moments

Before I move on with my responsibilities

-Some time to pamper me.

---

written 2013