In Loving Memory

A tingling I just can't place

I'm restless and ill at ease

I try to forget

To pretend it's not true

But my heart doesn't like that of me.

Dear, dear friend

There's so much more of you

I wish I could know

Time came for you to go

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Nor how much I love you.

Now when I think of our visits

All we shared together

I remind myself 

That although my heart is aching

You are filled with joy

Looking down at me reassuringly 

You haven't left, after all.

---

written 2012

Why?

Why do I do

The things that I do?

Why do I feel

The feelings that I feel?

Why do I get upset-

Are things that upsetting?

Why don’t people think and feel

What I feel and think?

Why can’t they understand

That I need to be understood?

Why is it planned

To happen this way

When I happened to plan it

A different way?

But once I was told

When I work hard

To plow and sow

G-d will make sure

Things will grow

So when it’s hard

I’ll give another try

G-d makes me grow

Now I know why

---

written 2004

Apologetic Compromise

How many times can I apologize

To make you accept what I've done

I know words will never be enough

To calm you down.

You expect more from me

That I be there for you

It just never seems enough.

I feel guilty as I leave

And each moment that I'm gone.

I doubt my every decision

Is this one also wrong?

But I have many priorities

All important to me

So I'll satisify myself with a compromise

Since I am where I need to be.

---

written 2012