Hello Stranger

I've been given a not so subtle reminder
It's really okay!
That seems like such a foreign concept
I'm so harsh; so mean to myself
But then my friends remind me
I'm really okay!
I am caring to others
Because I have a loving heart
But to myself I'm very mean
So perhaps I can pretend to be a stranger
Since I don't really know myself so well anyway.
I don't take the time to listen 
To the scared little voice inside
Hiding from my fierce and impatient mind.
If I squint and barely look, I can pretend.
I'll listen and be more forgiving, 
I'll excuse myself, encourage that scared place
Inside of me,
That really is a stranger to me.
I just can't wait to get acquainted
And make a new friend.
But for now
It's really okay.
---
written 2013

I Believe

I believe
That somehow, one day
I will look at my reflection
And find acceptance
Within my own eyes
Eyes that I own.

I believe 
That somehow, one day
I will finally be at peace
With who I am
And my life of the past
Life that I own.

I believe
That somehow, every day
My heart that yearns
For truth and peace
Will find its way,
Though painful.

I will no longer need
To plead for acceptance
I will no longer fear
The chance of rejection
Because I'm worth believing
In me.
---
written 2013

I Admit, I Don't Know

I don't trust you
I don't understand you
I'm scared of you
I don't know you
Maybe because you don't know
Yourself;
Who are you?
What do you feel deep within your layers of defense
You seem to be screaming
"No one get too close!" 
Perhaps you'll feel
Your own pain, sorrow, fears and loss.
All I know about you
Is that you're hurting
But do you know?
I don't know if you do and I'm scared to find out
Because deep beyond my mind
I love you
Even though I haven't managed
The pain strangling my heart.
And I don't know what to do
With my anger and love
For you.
---
written 2013

Puppet Show

I feel like a puppet
Spineless; trying to be what others manipulate me to be
Can you really stuff back in
The feelings you just yanked out?
I don't know.
I don't feel the same-
I feel emptied
I released my vulnerability as well.
What will happen when you see
My tears,
What will you think
Once you see me in pain?
I'd be shamed if you'd pity me
I'd be at a loss for what to do
If you'd acknowledge me;
I'm not used to that
I've never honestly accepted validation.
Perhaps it's come too late
Once all I know
Is how to reject it.
I'm a hollow puppet
I hope to fill it
With stronger character
A new chance to be happy-
The show must go on.
---
written 2013