Looking Up

I watch you sit there, stuck in your chair
And my heart aches for you.
I see your fingers twisting and pulling
You're so tense, you're so stuck.
You can't look up to see my eyes,
You're so pulled in, I know that pain-
Like the world's gone dark
And each tomorrow will be the same.

I watch you sit there, stuck in your mind
And I remember when that used to be me.
I'd pull at my fingers as I tried desperately to talk
But I was too tense, I was stuck.
I couldn't look up to see the care in your eyes
I couldn't look around to see the world go by
I was just consumed with pain that seemed to never end
My worst fear being tomorrow would be the same.

But G-d blessed me with love, which I denied I own
Yet I was guided to see that it's there.
I had people to care and be patient with me
To love me although it wasn't easy.
Then day by day, yes it felt like forever
They turned into months; I climbed out
From the ground that my heart was buried in
To the world that I share with you.

I longed for the time I would find the strength
I longed for the life I didn't own.
My longing grew so consuming
That's when I started to pray.
I was so full of rage and so very afraid
So I screamed at G-d until my voice grew tired
And then I heard Him
"I'm here, It's okay."

Now I look up when I'm feeling stuck
I look around at the faces I know
I look in the eyes of the people I love
Until there's a spark in our eyes
I know I'm not alone.
I look at the Heavens, at the world all around
And whisper to G-d
"I believe You. It'll be okay."

I know you're stuck, I can't make it go away
But I can be patient and show you I care
I'm here by your side while you're alone in your pain
And I'll love you every day.
G-d will comfort your throbbing heart
He listens when you pray.
Yes, it'll come, when you'll look up too
You'll whisper to G-d
You're okay. 
---
written 2013