Crossroads

Maybe it's the feeling

Of having no control-

Knowing G-d is moving all the pieces,

And it's been a while since we've seen eye to eye.

Residual hurt, betrayal.

Pain too ambiguous to explain,

Throws me spiraling down deep.

I'm running out of air.

The burden too heavy to carry,

Protecting little, precious hearts.

Fighting a fight that I just can't win,

I wonder why I keep trying.

I've lost reason to believe,

I've lost faith in His comfort.

I've lost stability to stand 

for too long.

My growing baby, now so big

Watching her struggle from deep within.

How can I guide her, when I am lost, too?

All I have is overflowing love,

My heart, aching to hold her close.

All I have is tears of pain and tears of pride.

I tell her "I am here".

The only thing I know for sure

Is that I won't give up for her.

The only thing that matters

Is holding on to each other.

I am here.

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Written 2022