One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

It's hard to believe I can be in control
This is a different life than I've had before.
The road is tough but the bumps are okay
I can travel over them, step by step, day by day.

I look at you and know you hear my voice
You're cheering me on to make this choice
To be bigger and braver and use the courage I hide
Willing me to fight my demons inside.

My heart pounds so loud, it reminds me how I was afraid
To let others know how I was ashamed
To think and to feel and to let it out;
I was a captive within but a 'good girl'- throughout.

I pray for the strength to face my fears
As they've accumulated over the years
Shying away, building walls-
Always prepared for my world to fall.

Yet I've grown into a wife, a mommy, an adult
To get here I've learned to trust myself.
My gut tells me I can do this but I'm still petrified
I'll just take one step. One step at a time.
---
written 2015