Perspective

 I am deeply disturbed

With a pit in my gut,

I am dizzy with distaste

For what my senses pick up-

There's something so wrong

With the way things are said,

Something fundamentally missing,

The facade, the mask is presented instead.

There's no understanding

Of what's going on inside,

There's a basic lacking 

To understand _why_

Defenses go up

And walls protect the heart

From feelings so vulnerable, 

Not aware how to begin to start;

To listen, to sit,

To question and wonder

-what is it about?

-how can I do better?

There's a mounding layer

Full of BS

That causes hurt and confusion,

Then, relationships regress.

I sit in overwhelm, 

I try to hold space,

For all of this pain,

For all the mistakes.

I want to forgive 

Our human flaws,

I want to have compassion

For when we each fall.

I want to shine light,

On the brave and insecure,

That pushes through 

Even when so unsure.

The simple knowledge of knowing,

That I am doing good,

Is what I hold on to,

When there's so much should & could.

With a weary head 

And an aching heart,

I breathe deeply, close my eyes,

And stay still with it all,

Keeping myself company

Until I'm ready to get up again.

---

Written 2022