The heaviness is suffocating
I fear I may never get up
I can't even see beyond my window
Where the sun shines down
For my neighbor.
The confusion in not knowing
When or if my turn will ever come
Depresses me so much
I've drained my well
Of tears.
But with the beating of my heart
Comes fresh new tears of hope
Only G-d knows from where
For certainly I do not
Own much.
G-d whispers in my ear
Squeezes my hand with tenderness
I haven't felt in years
I cry like the child
I feel I am.
Each day the sun comes up
He blows new breath in me
And I blow out a big sigh
To acknowledge Him
In return.
"OK," I whisper back
"I'll place my wobbly feet on the ground
And hold on tight
For strength
You see in me."
Never have I looked
Beyond the pain in my cloudy sky
Never have I believed
You were there
To find.
But today I've found my voice
To ask for help; belief
And I know that is all I need
To step forward
And move on.
---
written 2013
omg that is really, really beautiful.i totally felt it was me-- the heaviness, the hopelessness, the beauty of the metaphors of sun and window and rain and sky as pain and joy and hope. you've got a tremendous gift, and may you find and feel the hope and trust you've described.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is very touching
ReplyDeletewow.....this gave me the chills - in a good way:)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Devorah. Thank you for your courage, experience, hope. Thank you for your words and for sharing.
ReplyDelete-Lily
it brings me right there, to where you are. i can feel that what you wrote and believe is so not made up. you have so much strength
ReplyDelete