If I Would Let Myself Tell You

If I would let myself tell you

Where I've come and gone

If I would let myself tell you

How far I have run

If I would let myself tell you

Where I now stand

Then maybe you could help me

And tell me you understand

If I would let myself tell you

About my hidden, darkened fears

If I would let myself tell you

Of my struggles through the years

If I would let myself tell you

My joy of breaking through

Then maybe you could help me

Continue what I do
 

If I would let myself tell you

Of the battles in my heart

If I would let myself tell you

What shatters me apart

If I would let myself tell you

How fragile I can be

Then maybe you could help me

Escape and just be free

If I would let myself tell you

Why I struggle with each word

If I  would let myself tell you

How I'm scared of being heard

If I would let myself tell you

That I wish I could let go

Then maybe you could help me

Because then you would know

If I would let myself tell you

Then all this could disappear

If I would let myself tell you

Then you'd see me crystal clear

If I would let myself tell you

Then at least my tears would flow

Just maybe, maybe now

I'll allow you to know
---

written 2005

Foreign Land

I'm on automatic pilot

Since I feel too much pain

The whirlwind of emotions

Is driving me insane

My eyes see far beyond

I ever dreamed I'd spot

My ears are tuned in

To the deepest of all thought

My senses have antennas

For the frequencies within

So clear yet full of static

I feel strangely alien

I believe I've overstepped

I've trespassed into a place

Where all are stripped of privacy

They all live in disgrace

But this inner realm allows me

To transform all life's pain

To G-dly love- my inspiration

With this I can be sane

This world I share with G-d

You could never understand

For it is oddly mine alone

I live on foreign land

---

written 2004

A Silly Piece of Bubble Gum

I'm stuck
On a piece of bubble gum

Blown totally out of proportion

Big pink bubbles

Popped and deflated

Effort exhausted and lost

I squirm and pull and twist

To free myself from this

Just a silly piece of bubble gum

Air bubbles-

Thought bubbles

Too many bubbles

Stop chewing

Stop spitting-

Stop thinking

Just stop!

Don't swallow it

But dispose of it

In the garbage bin

When you're finally unstick

Remember your trick

Because you'll need it

Once you find

That next sticky piece
---
written December 2006

The Golden Key

When I lend a helping hand

And open up my heart

When I take the time to listen

And hold your secrets tight-

I'm empowered with something special

I hold a key to locked doors

If you let me hold your hand

I can give you what is yours

When you let down your guard

And accept to face your truth

When you whisper all your fears

Let your emotions all run loose-

I am challenged to empower you

To pass on my golden key

I know the pains of using it

Life is not for free

I know the pain of hunger

For simple humble love

I know the pain of anger

When it hasn't come

I know the pain of trying

And no one seems to care

I know the pain of giving up

You're ready to despair

But for me, I made it worth it

Another chance I'd give

I searched my soul deeper

Because I yearned to live

As I dug ever deeper

I discovered this golden key-

A key of faith, of openness

A key of honesty

Now you, my friend, my sister

My daughter and myself

I hand you this key

It's your turn to use it

Let yourself go free
---
written December 2010

Perfection

Pressure, pressure

I need perfection

Pressure, pressure

Never ending

I jump up to snatch it

I fall hard, I'm hurt

I flee to escape it-

I'll never return!

But I run right back
---
written December 2010

Our Secret

Believe me

As I share my secret

I feel what you feel

Without your words-

I hold your heart

Inside my own

Now you know my secret

Hold it tight

Deep in your heart

And remember

You're not alone
---
written December 2010

Simple Love

The joy of innocence

Of cuteness

Of pure emotion

The joy of babyish laughter

Of sweetness

Of pure content

The joy of toothless grins

Of open hearts

Of simple love
---
written March 2011

I Am For Me Alone

If I am not for me

Then who will be?

I know I'm on my own

My decisions and words

Are mine alone

As much as others

Have influence

It pulls me 

This way and that

I remember

That I can untie

Any knot I choose

So i can stand steady

On my own

I understand 

I am not perfect

I understand

I am not G-d

I understand

I do have struggles

Some beyond my control

But even then

I am for me

Alone

My struggle then

Is that much harder

But my reward from G-d

Is that much greater

And if I cannot stand steady

On my own

Then I can seek help

And accept

That the world goes round

No one is perfect

And everyone

In his own time

Needs help

Simply to stand

Thank You G-d

That my turn came now

When life is still young

And the future still bright

Thank You G-d

For supporting me

For giving me a support system

And for giving me

This clarity

If I am not for me

No one else will be

---

written May 2011

It Feels So Weird

It feels so weird

To not be perfect

And to accept 

The virtue 

In that
 

It feels so weird

To not stay upset

At myself

For getting upset

At someone else

It feels so weird

To not  know something

And enjoy

Discovering

Something new

It feels so weird

To be pushed away

And embrace 

Myself

Instead

---

written May 2011

Today I am a Hero

I proved to myself I can

And now I really know

That anything is possible

I showed myself my strength

I am stronger than I think

And I am so proud!

It's my challenge

In my heart

I am battling myself

I am my own victim

And I am my own ruler

I am anything I let myself be

And today

I am my own hero

Today I am proud me!
---
written May 2011