Blame Game

It's easy to blame you for everything
It makes me feel righteous and justified.
When I stop for a moment I can admit
I have you to blame because you're here.

You're always around because you're right by my side
You're always doing it wrong because you're doing what you can
You keep giving and I keep taking
And still you haven't given up on me.

I blame you because I'm hurting inside
And push you away because I can't have you close
I can't handle the pain of feeling alone
So I numb it with anger and shame.

I want to apologize. To make it right
I need you to know I'm defeated
I need you to see I'm trying to change
Because you don't deserve how I treat you.

There's so much good I want to share
So much to feel yet I'm scared
So much to love and so much to accept
So thank you for believing in me.

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written 2016