Let's Be Friends

Another week passed by
And I am much the same
Except for a twinge in my heart
That I cannot explain.

The calmness and security
In feeling understood,
The long moments of silence
Don't threaten me how they would-

Seeing how relieved I am
Once my heart's been exposed,
It's clear that all my fear
Is from years of being closed.

Your eyes tell me that you are sincere
When you ask if I'm okay,
Your patience tells me it matters
What I have to say.

Your tears tell me you feel
What I feel in my heart-
I see now- I'm not such a stranger;
Sometimes we all feel torn apart.

I think I found a real friend,
I dare admit it's true.
No one deserves to stay closed in forever
I'm so grateful to have you.
---
written 2015

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

It's hard to believe I can be in control
This is a different life than I've had before.
The road is tough but the bumps are okay
I can travel over them, step by step, day by day.

I look at you and know you hear my voice
You're cheering me on to make this choice
To be bigger and braver and use the courage I hide
Willing me to fight my demons inside.

My heart pounds so loud, it reminds me how I was afraid
To let others know how I was ashamed
To think and to feel and to let it out;
I was a captive within but a 'good girl'- throughout.

I pray for the strength to face my fears
As they've accumulated over the years
Shying away, building walls-
Always prepared for my world to fall.

Yet I've grown into a wife, a mommy, an adult
To get here I've learned to trust myself.
My gut tells me I can do this but I'm still petrified
I'll just take one step. One step at a time.
---
written 2015

Life is an Oxymoron

Life is empty and full
All at once
My pages are blank
Because I'm lost in space
I can't find the time
Nor the peace of mind
To find myself
Somewhere to unwind
And fill my heart
By letting it out.
---
written 2012