Nighttime Reflections

The day is over but my mind is running

Trying to find a comfortable place

So much has happened

That needs my attention

I need to slow down my pace.

What have I done today

To change my little world

What will be tomorrow

When it's time to try again

What can I say for myself

To show I really care.

Thank You G-d

For getting me through

Today.

---

written 2012

Play A New Song Today

I've got my mantra plastered to my forehead

Playing in my imaginary headphones

"FOOD IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!"

Oh,okay.

It's like bumping into the wall

Oops! You quickly turn away.

Well! -That's clearly the wrong direction!

So I stumble back and look around

Where to next?

Why am I here?

I busy myself, trying to figure that out

How I've missed it all this time

I don't even know who I am

What makes me happy

What I feel.

Food's numbed me

Helping me hide behind my hurt.

Now I'm lost

All I want is to find my way back

To where I belong

And then I can play a different song

"I'M A WINNER TODAY!!!"

---

written 2012

So You Know I'm Thinking of You

So angry 

It's so unfair

Life hurts too much.

So lonely

It's so heavy

My broken heart.

So sad

It's pathetic

Grieving the living

So long

It's been so long

Since you smiled.

So badly

It's all I wish

To make it better

So what

It's not in my hands

Pray is all I can do.

So sorry

It's not over

But I'll stay by you

So strong

It's always been you

Giving, never taking.

So, here

It's your turn

A hug

So remember

It's okay

Crying helps

And I love you

So much.

---

written 2012

I Keep Smiling to Myself!

I keep smiling to myself

As I think back

To that conversation we had.

I finally got to share

What was weighing down my heart

And you listened, really listened.

I'm so grateful that I've learned

To explain what I feel

And so thankful that you care

Enough to change.

I keep smiling to myself 

As I hum a jolly tune

I feel so rich, so full, so happy

Can't wait to share that with you too!

---

written 2012

Just Want You to Know

I tried to be good

But I seem to have failed

Every time I tried

I was blackmailed

I tried to be good

But every time I tried

I felt so shamed

I could have cried

I don’t know if you knew

How you’ve put me in pain

But your angry, harsh words

Drove me insane

I needed to be loved

To know that you care

That I’m worth something to you-

But life’s so unfair

See- Now it’s too late

I don’t care now, to try

But somehow I still do

-For me.

---

written 2003