I'm breathing, but just barely
I'm alive! I can survive!
My aches, my pains
Twist my tortured mind
The tears keep surging.
Im still breathing
It hurts to feel, to touch, to see
I need solitude in a bubble and float away
I feel guilty I'm not strong enough
To let you be unchecked.
I'm so fragile, immobile
I close my eyes
I can't learn to heal today
So I let my self float away
And that's okay.
---
Written 2021
I want to stomp my feet and throw things,
Smash the world to smithereens,
The world that took you away from me
So unforgivingly.
I don't have the strength
To kick and scream it out,
But my heart is bursting
Leaving me twisted inside out.
My tears don't seem to run dry,
And I know that when they do
I'll have entered a new phase,
A new ugly place,
Where no one can see the gaping hole,
Or understand what's missing.
Tonight, I'll bring you with me
Into my dreams,
So my tears can rest,
And my heavy chest,
Can have a break till morning.
---
Written 2021
Your voice echos in my mind
You feel so far away
Yet I feel you feeling free and smiling.
You're surrounding me and checking in,
Free to stay all day,
No need to rush away.
You sit inside my thoughts
As I share my days routine.
You feel content and I feel blessed
To carry you with me.
---
Written 2021
The icicles are melting
Around my numb, aching heart.
It starts thumping again,
Faster and dangerously
Out of control.
The droplets fall down
Past my torn, mournful collar.
It doesn't faze me.
There's no need to wipe them gone;
They're where they belong.
Words are just words,
That I fumble together.
Trying to make sense
Of life and death.
I chuckle at the irony.
Grappling with words,
Trying to snatch back some control,
And I know deep down
I never owned it
To begin with.
---
Written 2021
