Someone New

I want to try something new
Where I tell everything to you
So you know where I'm going
Even when I'm lost

I want you to see
Where I end up at the end
As I try to navigate my life
Of unpaved roads

I want someone to wonder
How it is that I am here
When you look back at the past
All going nowhere

I want help to understand
Why my map's in Chinese
And my brain cannot translate
The messages

I want to succeed
To start each new day
With my head right side up
And my feet on the ground

I want to know
All the things that I don't
And I hope you have patience
For me

I want to try something new
Where I find someone true
Who can teach me 
To learn Chinese
---
written 2013

Myself

I haven't allowed myself
To trust that you can be
A safe haven for my pain,
Vulnerability.

I never believed myself
How much pain I have inside
A child's heart still broken,
Indefinitely.

I doubt I'd recognize myself
When I'd break down and cry
A maskless face revealing,
Humility.

I don't understand myself
How the courage pushes on
A buried will so determined
Intensity.

I hope to find it in myself
Relive moments I numbed to survive
A cry, a sobbing, weeping
Finally.

I don't know who you are
How big your heart can be
To join me as I find myself
Empathy.

I wish to learn to love myself
The way you do for me
A belief stronger than my pain
My journey.
---
written 2013