Empowered To Embrace My Life

It's hard to explain when I don't know what I feel
It's hard to admit that these feelings are real.
I'm scared to look in the mirror and see
My eyes and their depth; how far down it might be.
This heaviness, pain, loneliness, fear
Yet I'm blessed for my family that I treasure so dear.
And as much as they may not ever understand
They love me; I have them, I can move beyond
I am as strong as I will myself to be
My body will follow, if it's meant to be.
I am determined although I may fail
To get up again and again for each trial
And prove to myself; if no one else will know
That I own a place in this that is my own
And I will fill it with one hundred percent
With a smile on my face although I feel spent
Because I'm grateful for living and being loved
And for teaching myself I can if I must;
If I will it, I want it, I'll dig it out from inside

That will help me continue, I'll admit, with some pride!

I'm learning to love who I am inside
And acknowledge the power;
This moment is another chance to try.
---
written 2013